It’s a slow day in a little Lancashire town. The sun is beating down,and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit. On this particular day a rich tourist from down south is driving through town. He stops at a hotel and lays a £100 in cash on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one to spend the night.
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the owner grabs the bill and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the £100 and runs down the street to repay his debt to the sheep farmer.
The sheep farmer takes the £100 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of feed and fuel.
The guy at the Farmer’s Co-op takes the £100 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her services on credit.
The hooker rushes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the £100 back on the counter so the rich traveler will not suspect anything.
At that moment the traveler comes down the stairs, picks up the £100, states that the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the money, and leaves town.
No one produced anything.. No one earned anything.
However, the whole town is now out of debt and now looks to the future with a lot more optimism.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the British Government is conducting business today..

Everyone wants me to vote for them

You wouldn't believe the offers I've had these past few days. The Sun reporter even made me tea and toast, yes with the loaf. This is a historic loaf he says. Don't be silly you daft apeth says I, and don't put too much butter on it makes the bacon slide off.

I did'nt know there was a new labour and I don't like them

Well it's shocking isn't it!. I just heard on the telly that some postal votes have been opened by the twit czar,whatever that is. But it's not right is it? I was labour all my life and only found out today that this lot are called new labour. It's old labour who I was for. I don't hold with all this cheating. I think I will be voting for that Mr Cameron now as I don't like the way that Mr Clegg behaved with his kitchen.

Well I never

I never thought going for a loaf would lead to this. What a malarky. you never know who your going to meet on the way to the shops. there I was making my way along and in the back alley who do I meet but that Gordon Brown. "Hows about a photo op missus" he says. Go away you cheeky monkey I says.I don't talk to strange PM's in alleys. Go on you know you want to he says. Well! I'll go to the top of our stairs.