Mose, Chapter 94

The following is a parable credited from a poster on Guido Fawkes

The Lesson unto NooGrinningBoringLiars is taken from Mose, Chapter 94, beginning at verse 1. says:

1. And Mose and MincingSpinningBot, having again been driven away from the habitation of decent and honourable men, returned again to the desert.

2. And they were benders. And had no starter’s paste. Neither had they any shame.

3. And MincyBotty spake unto Mose, saying : Thou art indeed the one destined to lead the sheeple out of the desert, but they have forsaken thee, and gone their own way, and no longer heed thy voice or fulminations.

4. And Mose waxéd wroth, and lifted up his voice and said : Oh hear ye, tribes that owe allegiance to ME. For I have savéd the world, and all that therein is. And no thing is my fault, neither can any blame be cast upon me.

5. For have I not fixéd the roof in weather that was good, such that no water, or debt or bust appeareth. Neither shall any man owe more than he hath, except he that hath nothing, and then he is mine completely, and jobsworths will give him parchment upon which to declare his penury.

6. And a poor widow approached Mose. And opening her mouth, said unto Mose. For these many years, I and my forbears have followed thy teachings and those that came before thee.

7. But I am poor, and an widow. And cannot get that which I need in the way of sustenance.

8. And Mose, gurning, and with stupid grin and weird jaw movement, answereth, and saith unto her. Go now to the jobsworths and fill in yet more parchment that they may assess thy case.

9. But the poor widow lifted up her voice, and said, Yet these many times have I done this, and with no result.

10. And Mose being troubled in his heart, answered and prissily said under his breath, said, Truly thou art getting on my tits, and fain would I have thee taken away. But yet, because others watch, will I try to humour thee.

11. But the poor widow, not content, continued and belaboured Mose with questions about tribute that was owed, and that was given to people from other tribes and lands, with shelter and food also.

12. And Mose, smirked, but inwardly snarled and wished the poor woman trouble him no more.

13. And getting into his chariot he uttered the truth that was in heart, and many of the sheeple heard it. And knew Mose was every bit the liar and hypocrite that he was.